Knitting

Today was my first day at Knit and, to tell the honest truth, I found it hell. The morning started quite well with hand knitting, where after several attempts, I eventually got my head around purl and knit stitch and managed to knit an extremely wonky rectangular shape, which I can say I was proud of. And so, feeling a knitting master at this point, I was looking forward to machine knitting in the afternoon. Finding myself in front of the unfriendly Praying Mantis look alike machines, I realised this would not be the easy knitting dream I imagined. Unlike hand knitting, you don't manually create each knit and so I was baffled by how the knit was being created, and therefore when a problem occurred I had no idea why and, most importantly, how to fix it. I spend the afternoon cursing the machine, whilst ripping of broken, tiny samples. However, I did learn how to plain knit and change the colour of the threads, and that's something I didn't know yesterday, so it hasn't all been bad. Tomorrow i will go in with an open mind and take it slowly. Knitting it a skill that needs to be learnt and I need to be patient and keep practising.

First hand knitted sample.

My first EVER machine knit sample. Long way to go.

Who do you think you are?

Introduction

What is it to be an individual? What suffices and what are the necessities to be a person, to be accepted and to be remembered for your own individual identity.

This exhibition centres around how we choose to identify ourselves, by looking at a range of examples from Facebook to 18^th century paintings. The artefacts in the exhibition demonstrate different ways in which we are influenced by our own desires, difficult situations and cultural traditions to express an identity. This choice of expression can be strained by the circumstances we are under, be that on our death bed, behind our computer screens or to simply remind ourselves on a daily basis. Our identities are all we really have to set us apart from the other billions of people in the world, so it is no surprise that holding onto it, shaping it and preserving it, is an innate part of everything we do.

Since the origins of Western Philosophy our personal Identity has been discussed, questioned and tried to be understood. Our identity is shaped by our state of mind, life experiences, values family and friends. In circumstances when we question who we are, or when the fundamental elements that make up our personal identity is stripped from us, how do we still hold onto something that says who we are? How can we reshape our lives to re shape our identities? How do we hold onto the identities of ones we have lost?  

Split into two sections, the first part of the exhibition will focus on how we shape our own identity, looking at my own objects, the new revolution that is Facebook, and 18^th century paintings this section shows wide ranging examples of the portrayal of our identities.  

The second section of the exhibition will centre around being remembered by keeping our identity alive by looking at artefacts from prisoners of war, memorabilia and photographs of the Mexican Day of the Dead celebrations.

In parts, a documentary video will be played, shining a light on more contemporary issues, in other parts, personal objects from soldiers of war to my own personal possessions will be displayed. The varying objects in the exhibition provide a small insight into how people over different generations, cultures and circumstances value the who they are by presenting identity. 

Section one.

Catfish

(use headphones)

This is a clip summarizing the plot of the American Documentary film Catfish, directed by Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman involving a young man ( Yaniv ‘Nev’ Schulman) in a virtual relationship with Megan (Pierce) on the social Network website Facebook. As the relationship builds between Nev and Meg he decides to visit her in Michigan to discover 22 year old Meg is in fact 45 year old Angela, and has created a complete virtual life on Facebook where she has invented fake profiles for Meg, and all her family and friends. Catfish highlights how Facebook enables us to shape completely new and more desirable identities for ourselves if we choose to. If part of our identity comes from our appearance, beliefs, family and friends then Facebook is the perfect tool to shape these elements into something far from the truth of what is real. It also adds another dimension to our identity, raising the question of whether we can have more than one identity. Are we what we choose our physical identity to be, or can we in fact create multiple identities that are simply fixated out of our imagination?

My possessions

This is an image showing some of the possessions hanging on the billboard in my halls bedroom. When moving away from home, you have to make the decision of what to take with you that will remind you of who you are and where your roots have come from. For me it was about taking things that that will spring back memories of people, places and point of happiness in my life. The objects include photos of being eight years old on a family holiday in Northumberland, Birthday cards from friends, stickers from nights out and the one I find most interesting is a postcard from my old cello teacher of a young girl playing the cello. The postcard of the cellist is an image I look at daily that subconsciously reminds me of my own identity securing my own interests. The objects in the images are all conscious decisions put there to affirm who I am, acting as little pockets of comfort that are reminders of my identity every time I look around my room. However, the choice to only display happy experiences of my life shows how you can shape you identity into what you choose it to say about yourself.

Lieutenant Mackenzie

A painting of lieutenant Mackenzie, an assistant political agent at Peshawar. During the first Afghanistan War in 1840, Mackenzie was sent to Kabul where he was commanded to defend the British force against the Afghans but was taken hostage by the Afghan chief Akbar Khan. Dressed in striking Afghan clothing, given by Akbar Khan as a gift to disguise him and increase his chance of survival, the portrait acts as a tool to give Mackenzie a false identity. Portraits were the only source of getting information about, not only the physical appearance of a person, but to show a person’s beliefs and roots through using props to symbolize elements of a person’s characteristics. In this instance, Mackenzie is wearing a turban, connoting his religious beliefs to the viewer, giving them a deeper understanding of who he is. Mackenzie was idolised by Afghans who often called him the ‘English Messiah’, however a portrait can often paint a false representation of a person and can be used as a way of presenting a manipulated illustration of the truth, similarly to how today we can edit photos to show a warped reality. Looking powerful and wealthy, it was the paintings purpose was to portray him in this light, forming a somewhat false identity, the identity that Akbar Khan wanted the viewer to see him.

Section 2

Mess Tin

An American mess tin used by a British soldier in a Japanese prison camp. Private A Gonville of the Middlesex Regiment engraved his own name on the lid of the tin, he then died in camp. The mess tin signifies something homogeneous, acting as a symbol to how Private A Gonville and all the rest of the prisoners of war would have felt. Perhaps the engraving of Gonvilles name was his way of holding onto the only part of his identity he had left. Engraved and made personal at the end of his life, the mess tin takes on a new purpose, acting as an object that remembers, preserving a part of  Gonville’s identity.

Memorial Wristband

Corporal David Barnsdale was killed in a IED strike in 2010 whilst taking part on a route clearance near Gereshk. These memorial wristbands were produced by David Barnsdale’s family to remember ‘a character’ and a ‘friend to everyone’. The wristbands were worn by the entire squadron. By wearing the wristbands commiserating a lost friend, it not only ensures the memory of that person is rewarded but also reminds the wearers of their own identity by giving them a group affirmation by making them part of a group giving them the sense of friendship and unity in moments of desperation and loss.  

Dana Salvo

Dana Salvo- 1952. Chromogenic  prints. The photographs show the celebration of Mexicans Day of the Dead. People often remember loved ones by displaying pictures of the deceased, personal items and servings of their favourite food and drink. Treated as a celebration, these memorials are highly personal to the family and person in memory. The literal representation by using photographs and favourite foods shows how the identity of a lost one is remembered year on year. It seems like memorials like this are to remind friends and families of their own identity, as it helps to fill the gap in their selves when a the loved one was lost.  

Looking back at Weave

I'm coming up to the second half of my knit block now and have found it tremendously difficult to get my head around the knit machine and the techniques. Weave seems like a distant dream away. Looking back at weave I found the techniques and processes much easier to understand and was able to think creatively quite early on. I enjoyed the different effects each loom gave you despite following the same pattern. I realizes that  if you distract the physicality of the loom and see it simply as a machine that enables you to work with 8 threads at a time the weave processes doesn't seem quite so daunting.

 I experimented a lot within my triangle motif, an idea taken from one of my earlier drawings, and used each of the looms to create slightly different types of triangle shapes. I also experimented with different yarns and materials that could sit on the warp such as paper, net, wool and strips of my own silk prints. I enjoyed the experimental element of weave best, however I think I would find it difficult to create a repeated, considered fabric sample. I found that I often got bored when doing the same technique and found it difficult to sustain my concentration on that one pattern. Despite this, the two weeks taught me a completely new textile process that I had never done before and it is a process I feel I have learnt and experimented in, developing my colour schemes and designs even further.   

The Systems of Collecting

(watch from 1:51)

‘Every object in that room is equally a form by which they have chosen to express themselves’- Daniel Miller(1).  This summarises, for me, what it is to collect things as it is a statement that I can most relate to in my own collecting habits. I think we all have a desire to surround ourselves with things of comfort, things that allow us to remember what we choose to remember. I collect things that remind me of events, people, experiences, the only thing that bounds the object I collect together is my own life.  So I guess I collect my life, storing it away so I can take it out and reflect upon it whenever I like. As Miller states, ‘these things are not a random collection. They have been gradually accumulated as an expression of that person.’ Miller see’s people collections and possessions as a direct reflection of that person, and believes that people need the comfort of things in the sadness of our lives. However, I think in circumstances where collecting goes beyond the normalities and becomes an obsession, and the collection controls the subjects life entirely, the situation changes.  An extreme example of this is Pat and Joe’s collection of Cabbage patch dolls. The couple have 5,000 cabbage patch dolls resulting in them building an entire new house to store the dolls into. When I first watched these videos my instinctive thought was that Pat and Joe were mad, they were unrelatable to anything I had ever seen before, as their collection seemed to shape their existence, dictating entirely who they are. The fact that Pat and Joe believe that the dolls are like children, and infact refuse to use the word ‘doll’, infers some sort of loss or incapability to have children. Fraud would argue that a Pat and Joe’s collections act as a way of blocking out trauma. He argues that collecting is the way we deal with our trauma, we collect to protect ourselves from facing what it is that haunts our unconscious minds. Could the couples collections be a devise used to distract them from the truth?

Baudrillard says ‘the object thus emerges as the ideal mirror. For the images it reflects succeeds on another while never contradiction on another. More over it is ideal in that it reflects not of what is real but only of what is desirable.’ This suggests how for Pat and Joe they find it difficult to live in the real world and so have created a fictional world in which what they desire becomes a reality. It outlines how they are living in the desired imagination and thus invest their time and money into this imagination because they find it nearly impossible to form human relationships. The way they talk to the dolls is deeply concerning for two adults and gives the impression of them being childlike with an inability to live as adults in the real world, where they rely on the cabbage patch dolls to give them security from forming real human relationships. ‘Ordinary human relationships, which are the site of the unique and the conflictual, never permit such a fusion of absolute singularity and indefinite seriality. This explains why ordinary relationships are such a continual source of anxiety.’ The distress ordinary relationships can cause people can make them revert to forming relationships with things they can control, in this case, Pat and Joe’s cabbage patch dolls, as it is something that has been created by that person, the objects purpose has been decided by the subject and so there is no possibility for conflict or anxiety like in human relationships.

Although highly personal, we can see how Pat and Joe’s collection of dolls is shared with other like minded collectors giving the notion of normalisation. Together as one, the group of collectors can play out their desired lives and create a new world in which collecting is the normal. As Baudrillard says ‘The boundless passion invested in the game is what lends this regressive behaviour it sublimity and reinforces the opinion that an individual who is not some sort of collector can only be a cretin or hopelessly subhuman.’ What Baudrillard is saying here is how collectors form groups with other like-minded collectors so that they can play out the game together with group affirmation. Those who do not collect are outside the imaginary loop and are consequently perceived as ‘subhuman’. This explains how Pat and Joe have a entire group of people who all collect cabbage patch dolls so that even their real relationships with people are stemmed and evolving around their collections. Youtube is a modern device that creates group affirmation amongst likely people, allowing people to share, comment and appreciate what once might have been a secret habit.

(1)    – Daniel Miller (2008). the comfort of things. cambridge: polity press. 301.

(2)    - Jean Baudrillard (1994). the cultures of collecting. cambridge, Massachusetts : harvard university press. 24.